One more, just...One more....

One more day... That's all I had to wait... She'll be back.. One more long day.... Elena asked me to come for her Malam Ria, but I was unsure if I could go.. I asked Elena to do me a favour.. Take her phone and ask my love to call me.. Elena couldn't send me what my love wanted to give me, so she read it out for me....

i love you...

i miss you so much...

don't think about me too much..

it will be over fast...

go do something to keep yourself occupied..

go play football...

don't forget to find a job...

don't be so sad...

don't sulk..

I knew, that was what she would say if she was with me before she left.... I wish I could tell her stuff too.. Especially that I will always love her no matter what.. Not because its what boyfriends are suppose to say.. but because I'm her lover and I'm being honest with her... Elena said maybe she can talk to me tonight, and night was what I waited for...

When night came, I waited... 7,8,9,10... at 10p.m, with fear that Elena might have already gone back, I called... I heard the voice I wanted to hear the most, but I wasn't sure..

"who is this??"

"Edna la!! I miss you!"

I was speechless, so happy, so excited, so, so, so.............. I could just say...

"HEY, its YOU!!!! I miss you"

She said what mattered the most to me... "i love you." She asked me to call her back.. I did after she texted me. She said she didn't know when I could call her... I told her I was sorry.. but didn't tell why, but she asked why... I said 'coz I didn't listen to you....

Later on I called again, this time only to hear Evelyn say that they were on the way home... I put down the phone as I whispered ''goodbye"

Why am I sorry? I didn't listen.. I thought about her always.. I didn't get a job.. I was sad.. I just hoped she don't get mad at me.. I've got so much to tell her, so much missing her that I wont let go when I get to hug her... I love you Edna.... I was glad to hear you're fine and having fun... Can't wait to see you,,, <3

hate myself....

It's really late... She's away and I really missed her so much... No one was online to entertain me. I wasn't used to playing games without the mouse. The laptop was on and I had nothing else to do, so I thought searching her name in google would be funny.. But it wasn't.... I don't know whether I regret doing it...

I saw some random English names, none of them had both names after one another... One word caught my eye... "Meow" I read it again, "I meow you more" It reminded me of her and her past. I just wanted to check it out, without knowing the consequences.. I read it and was deeply in sorrow... I don't know why.. This guy was sweeter than me, better than me and her posts about him showed that they really loved each other.. I was sad, because maybe she wanted to be with him so badly.. I was scared, because maybe she would fall for him again when he comes back.. I was worried, because maybe he was better than me.. I was terrified, because we had one thing in common: We loved the same girl so much and made the same promises.. Would mine be broken just like his? I couldn't sleep..

Few days later, I read it again, this time to see what a great girlfriend she is.. Then I went further, I opened her best friend's link and went to her link. I went from the year I met her.. 2007.. I was her one of her best friend then, and I went through her blog... All that she told me before, had more details now... Her friends fought and she got slapped, her ex kicked her... It was wrong... So wrong to go through her private life.. She already told me voluntarily as a friend, but I went too far?? I felt deep guilt within.... So angry, so mad... I wish I could just punch myself if there was another me... Actually there is.. But I can't even lay a finger on him.. Very little know what I'm talking about..

First of all, I felt guilty and closed her blog.. But then, I promised myself something.. She will post less things that hurt her... It would be beautiful if she posts blogs about being with me happily until we're both old... I'm actually glad that she told me the way she did...It would hurt her to tell me everything again... And I'll always be here for her to share her problems and solve it with her... I promise..

Her best friends were there for me, all the insecureness, anxiousness, all gone thanks to them. I won't forget them. Now, I'm excited to see her.. But, I know I had to wait...

Love, if you ever read this, I want you to know I'm really, really sorry... It started off as an accident, but I did it on purpose after that.. I love you no matter what............ I'm sorry..

heyy

To my love....

I know you're gonna be upset with some of the things you're going to find out, its about what happened when you went away for awhile and left me all alone here, physically and emotionally.... Anyways you don't even know I have a blog, so I know you can't say anything about what you don't know...

When we had our last hug before you left, I wished I could hold on for awhile. I know I would miss the warmness and feelings I had every time I see you and hug you.. Like we used to tell each other.. The world slows down for the both of us to be together, but time still flies by without us noticing... We're the only people in the world, and who we have in our arms are the ones that mattered the most.. It feels so warm, so safe to be in the arms of someone whom we know loves us dearly and would never let us fall, always be there for us, and willing to do anything for us.. Being in public was the only reason I held back my tears when you let go.. As you walked out, I watched you, afraid your mom might see me, and maybe force us to end what we have.. But even if she did try to do that, she won't succeed because I'd wait for you.. I reached the escalator, took a step forwards, but I turned back to catch a last glimpse of you before you left. I know you were going away for a week, but I don't know how I could handle it...

If the escalator wasn't moving, maybe I would just stand there, lost.. I missed you already. If I could just run back to you and give you one last hug like I always do when I see you in your house.. But I know I can't.. You had to go, and it would be useless to wait at the same spot for you, knowing you won't run back to me... But I was sure you would if it weren't for your mom.. Calling you was the first thing I did, but you didn't answer. I texted you and got a reply.. I tried so long to hold them back, but my eyes just glistened with tears.. You told me to hang out a lot to keep you of my mind.. That was the first thing I did when I reached home, I went to play football, but I just couldn't. My thought? If I get injured I always tell Edna, but now I couldn't tell her.. You haven't left yet, but I don't want you to worry.. I worried about you instead when I got to know how bad your foot is.. If you weren't leaving, I'd come see you everyday and take care of you.. I could just pray you'd be okay in Love n' Life.. I couldn't stop thinking about you and I know you would tell me not to. But I was stubborn.. Your smile and eyes were all I could think$ of, which I wanted to see again..

I got ready and went for carolling. Lana and Livy played with my head the way you did, and they kept saying I was cute. They only made me think of you some more.. We sang, and all I could think of is how we could spend time this christmas. I couldn't concentrate on what I'm supposed to do and text you instead, until you told me you were going out.. We had fun together, but still.. You were always on my mind. We went for dinner, and I took out both phones I had on placed them on the table. Your phone, and Aaron's phone... Two people I'm going to miss a lot this whole week. I waited for your call or text. Lana could see that I wasn't happy and she knew why. When you called, my heart skipped a heartbeat.. I didn't know how our conversation was going to be, a simple one, or a meaningful one. We started off finely, but towards the end, I just had to let my tears fall. I was alone, but you're next to me in my heart. You broke down and I felt sad as well. But every time you cried for me, I know it's because you love me.. And I'm glad I found you..

I told you not to cry, because I don't like to see you sad or hurt, that's why I never wanted to hurt you or scold you or get you upset with intention. I'm sorry for the times you got hurt. I put down the phone after saying bye, and wiped off my tears. I got back to my table and everyone started asking why I was crying. They asked me whether we fought, and I said, we never fight.. Sasi guessed that I missed you a lot.... Kishen held Livy close to him, while Shaun had Lana's hand in his. I wished at that very moment you were next to me too... But jealousy turned into something different... I had the whole day with you whereas they only get to be with their partners only tonight..When they all left, I knew it was going to be a long week for me as we texted.. You called me when you got sleepy, and told me to take care of my health as I was around smokers. I don't want to get sick and die early, I want to spend my whole life with you.. A long and happy life.... You went to sleep.. And I stayed awake instead.

Its late at night, I couldn't sleep.. Missing you got the better of me. I wish I could just come over like Edward, watch you sleep and kiss you goodnight.. Although I couldn't do that, I won't walk away from you like Edward did. It would hurt you, and I can't imagine a life without you.. I already imagined one with you when we were at MJ before you left.. The clock has passed 12a.m... I only had like 15 hours to talk to you, but you would spend 8 hours sleeping, a few hours packing and getting ready, and not so long for me.. You called before you left, and Elena laughed when she heard that I was crying... I wasn't strong to lose you, not even for a day..... Lucky I was alone at Aaron's house and no one to see me sad..... When you put down the phone, I just looked down... "bye"... I had to wait for so long to say "hi" again... I kept your last message which meant a lot to me, and which I know the meaning won't change when you come back..... "i love u too"

Aaron came back, and his dad sent us both... Me to Pizza Hut, and he to you.. I wished I just had something to give to you through him.. But I didn't.. I just asked him to remind you that I love you..

Please come back fast..... I miss you so much..... I'm so lonely even when I have my friends around me.... My world feels so empty....... I already lost you once, lived without you once.... I don't want to go through it again... I can't extend this 7 days anymore..... and its only been 3 days... I have 4 more until I see you... And its already so long... but I'm fine.. It made me stronger.. I know we're going through a longer distance and time in the future.. I'll always love you..... <3